Humbumel Tupa
by YugiohFanfic26
Summary: Blaine found a map fallen from a running old man in crates. Along with his friends Wes and David they'll go on a "cannibalistic" adventure to search for 'something'. They are just hoping they will never be like the people in the movie Cannibal.


This is based on a Philippine tribe that has "Binukot" or hidden princess that even the sun rays can't touch them.

* * *

><p>"Blaine I'm telling you again. This is a stupid idea."<p>

Blaine, Wes and David are travelling in who-knows-what forest somewhere in the edge of South America ever since Blaine found a dusty, old map in the middle of the street. He said it fell from a running old man in crates, so it must be magical. And after four months of preparation, two spent on convincing Wes and David and two months on waiting for a good weather in South Africa. The trio headed their way to where the map indicates whatever it was. Blaine said they just need adventure. That is why they are heading to a place they are not sure if existing. Blaine's betting they'll see the old man in crates there though.

"Yes, Wes, I heard you."

And right now, after three days of adventure – a charm on Blaine's opinion – they are exploring a forest they believe is the Ape zone because of the different Ape statues.

"I'm not asking you to hear me; I'm telling you to get through it on your gel covered head!" Wes pulls the thin branch and let it go directly to Blaine's head who yelp in pain. "We're going to lost and not be found!"

"Or cannibals will eat us."

"Yes, that may be a possibility David." Blaine said coolly, ignoring Wes' shocked expression. "But it's not deemed necessary to declare,"

"It is Blaine!" Wes sputtered. "Have you seen that movie Cannibal? That only difference is we're not looking for someone! We're looking for nothing!"

Blaine flipped the map take a look at it. "We may found something! Look for a monkey stone."

David's eyebrows furrows. "A monkey stone? Haven't we seen a chimpanzee stone earlier? Are we going to see King Kong next?"

"I can't even tell the difference." Wes commented, shrieking as he tripped on an innocent rock on the way.

"That might be a good luck charm." David said as he carefully brushes the tall grass out of his way. "Travelers use stones to find their way."

A grass prick Wes' left eye. "Ouch!" He grabs Blaine's jacket to stop him. "Did you bring your hair brush or comb?"

Blaine raises an eyebrow at him. "It's not time to re-touch Wes."

"That's not what I'm talking about!" Wes hears David laughing behind him. "We'll brush these grasses away!"

Blaine's cheeks reddened. "Well… Well, you should've brought _yours_!"

"Blaine, my hair doesn't need a rake to or glue to stay calm."

"What?" Blaine pouts and much to his dismay, voices interrupted him and the fact that it's neither Wes nor David's voice scares him. The voices get nearer and nearer and the trio huddles close together, pulling out their best defenses at the same time. A bat for Blaine, David's meter stick – because Math's awesome - and Wes' gavel.

And to their dread they realize they are surrounded in a small clearing. "Are we into a movie? Why are we here?" Wes' exclaimed.

"Because we followed the map on my backpack!"

"Thank you for being so obvious Blaine!" Wes replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm talking about this open space! To all the places to be cornered! An OPEN SPACE!"

Just then, a keyboard appeared. Slash that. A dark man in only what they assume is his cover to his genitalia with long unkempt hair – which made Blaine, cringed –, big taut muscles with tattoos all over and a keyboard, appeared.

"I have a feeling that keyboard will be my worst enemy." Blaine muttered, eyes burning with immeasurable anger and hidden urge to destroy that thing. But it all quickly dissipates when Wes shouted that his gavel, _'will give us justice!'_

David snorts his nose in disgust. "Doesn't he wear any blazer?"

Wes jumps as an idea hit him. "Does that keyboard mean people have been here before? Where are they?"

"I don't know." Blaine said. "But let's destroy the keyboard."

David looks at him incredulously. "Do you mean that man?" Other man like that man-with-the-keyboard appeared around them. David swallowed audibly. "Or men?"

The men around them start talking to a language they can't understand.

"Shabah! Shabah!" _Look! Look! _A man with what they can assume is an exploded afro point at Blaine. "Hi-yip chua! Gro-ewww-yebu!" _He's a brother! Grease on his hair!_

Blaine stares at horror as the other men nod their head in what they could explain as an agreement. "Are they going to eat me?"

"That's the downside of being handsome Blaine, you die first!" Wes said.

"But I thought handsome people survive in movies!" Blaine argues.

"This is reality!" Wes said.

"Dabu-laki!" _The dark man! _The black man with a long tree branch approaches David who shivered in fear. "Kusi!" _Cousin!_ The man smiles, black teeth showing, "Talakamba!" _Long time no see! _Wes and Blaine watch in awe and horror as the man hugs David and spin him around.

"Oh…" David thinks of something to say. "Hi?"

"Ya du lah? Ya watu shabu ki?" _Are you fine? You want to go to my house?_

"Wha – " But before David can finish his sentence, the black man wrap his arms around David and walks him to the forest. He turns his head to look at Blaine and Wes who are still standing in shock, his eyes pleading for help.

Wes, the one able to regain composure somehow, shouts, "Just do whatever they want! Strip if you must!" David shot him a glare before disappearing.

"Ya yusi samatkuwi tallu yipi chua!" _You, slave, carry the bag of our brother!_

Blaine and Wes exchange each other a confuse stare before Blaine's backpack were pulled from his shoulders. The backpack was thrown to Wes.

Wes stares at the man with afro hair with disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about?"

The afro haired man pulls Blaine with him and they walk. Blaine tries to give the afro man his attention, nodding along to whatever he was saying. If he can understand him he might give his own opinion. It's all baby talk in his head! He's too young to die and this is supposed to be a fun adventure. Well, it hadn't been in the past three days but it's supposed to turn out good! He give Wes a quick glance and saw his friend being shoved forward by a man with a keyboard – which he hates so much.

"Shenu! Shenu!" _Walk! Walk! _ "Ya samatkuwi do lo!" _You are a slow slave!_

He heard the man talk to Wes and that pisses him off. No one has the right to push his friends like they don't matter. Because THEY matter. Now, Blaine is having a weird feeling about it. He feels guilty too, if he didn't urge his want to 'go adventure' this would not happen. He doesn't even know where David is. _Oh no, David, where did that guy take him? _What if it's a sick, perverted man? Oh no, oh no, undapper thoughts, undapper thoughts! David will be okay, he has his meter stick and if you look at the bright side, he and David received an actually good welcome, unlike Wes who keeps on receiving shouts and shoves from the man.

The important fact now is they are still alive and they have to stay that way, oh, add free too!

They continue walking around for what felt like years. And Blaine keep nodding to whatever this afro man is saying. Blaine can only at least thank the heavens he haven't offend the afro man for just nodding.

"Ya hu snikku tanu?" _Why do you smell good? _"Ya gupah ack-ack!" _You're disgusting! _The afro man throw his head back in a throaty laugh and Blaine laughed along too, thinking the man said something funny or maybe, wonderful. He should remember and try to know what 'ack-ack' means.

"Ki gupah lukmo?" _Do I smell bad? _Blaine nods and the afro man guffawed and pat Blaine on the back, more like his tail-bone and that hurt! "Ya nutawe ki!" _You flatter me!_

Wes stares at the afro man and Blaine incredulously. "I knew it!" Wes said earning him a glare from keyboard man. Blaine gives him a questioning glance. "You are an Ape! I shouldn't have doubted with all the hair in your eyebrows."

"I don't even know what he's saying!" Blaine hissed.

They all stopped walking in front of a tall wall of grass and the other Ape men pull the grass into one-side. Blaine saw nothing but big trees. He looked up upon hearing David's voice and realizes these people live on trees. They are really on Ape zone!

Going back to David voice, he doesn't sound hurt, more like angry. "Stop calling me 'Kusi'! My name is David! DAVID! D-A-V-I-D!"

Someone is arguing back with him. "Kusi! Ya tu tulele kulo!" _Cousin, you make no sense!_

"You make no sense! Can't you speak English? I can't understand you!"

"Ki shate haddalu! Shuwe luci katalata!" _I can't understand you! Speak our language!_

Blaine groans in frustration. "David he can't understand you, unless there will be a translator." He muttered to himself.

The afro man led Blaine to one of the trees. It's big and from what Blaine can see there's a house on the top. _So more like a tree house, very cool!_

"Chua! Ki Lettu shabu!" _Brother! Let's go to my house! _The afro man claims up the tree that seems to be like 10 times Blaine's height. "Chua! Do hoho lo!" _Brother! Don't be slow!_ Blaine hopes his expertise in climbing furniture will help him climb this tree. He start singing "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's child as he climb the tree with all his strength.

"Release your inner monkey!" he heard his consciousness. Okay… why would he tease himself? Oh maybe some form of motivation, he really need it now. Who knows what that afro man might do to him if he didn't go up? He might hang him in his head and carry him up. Or tie his hair and pull him up. And it's most likely the first one; they can't tie his hair, its untouchable… unmovable. He heard his consciousness once again when he almost lost his grip in one of the branches. He is starting to doubt it is his consciousness though. "Hold there hobbit! It's a practice to save your prince." Blaine can look down but he wouldn't dare. Furniture is much different than 50 feet tall trees. "You infuriating slow monkey! The afro dude is laughing at you." That's definitely not his consciousness, he looked up though and saw the afro man really laughing and speaking.

"Ki haka do lo!" _I know you're slow!_ "Fatu shabah nek Humbumel tupa!" _You look like one of those Hummel tribes_! "Jiji ewww yobo nek." _If it wasn't for your hair._

Finally! He reaches the top of the tree and still didn't even dare to look. Blaine sat on the tree house floor to catch his breath. The tree house looks like your ordinary tree house. From the entrance you can see big leaves which are probably the bed and pots. And that's about it.

He heard his consciousness once again. "Don't touch my gavel!" Alright, so that's Wes all along who was on the other tree house just about 20 feet away from them. He felt the afro man's gaze on him.

"Ya curocuro?" _Are you a cross-breed? _Blaine just nod. He didn't really know what to say, he's hoping its right to agree.

The afro man sits beside him. "Gat u tamamkee mantal." _So that's why you dress too much._ Blaine just keeps on nodding. "Ya si tabih?" _Are you on our side?_ Blaine nods again. The afro man looks contemplative and Blaine feared he just agreed on something he doesn't want. "Ya nono kule." _I don't know your name._ "Su nono…" _My name is…_ He held a hand on his heart. "Netugaratuwi-shabanentuye!" He held out his palm in front of Blaine. If Blaine's instinct is that good he must be right that this man is introducing himself.

His dapper instincts kick him hard. He held the man's palm. "Blaine."

The afro man gives him an incredulous look. "Ya kawa-blah nono!" _You have an ugly name!_ And then he laughed. Blaine laughs too. What in the world is so funny?

The afro man held Blaine's hand tighter and spit on their intertwined hands. Blaine is so sure he had died on the spot, or will suffer an infection on the spot then die miserably. That spit doesn't look good! And its so disgusting! _Let me wash my hands! Let me wash my hands!_

"Ki too gimba lavatu." _I'll give the symbol of our friendship._ The afro man gave Blaine a nod which Blaine translate that it's his turn. So Blaine spit on their hands too. To Blaine's relief the man pulls away and Blaine quickly searches for water using his eyes. All he can see is pots. Maybe there's water on the pots.

After a long story-telling from Neye – that's all Blaine understood on his name – Neye gave him clothes which is actually just some cover to his genitalia but he didn't took off his briefs.

Later that night, he, Wes and David were faced in front of three scrutinizing tribe men. They look like the leaders though, so maybe they are the leaders. They wear a lot of gold, jewelries and flowers in their body you could probably use them as decorations, if your style is tribal. Fire lights up the whole place, music coming from some kind of percussion is ringing to their ears. There are other tribe people surrounding them and Neye looks proud. So this might be good right?

Before a leader can talk, a type of liquid was washed over to them and it stings! It's burning their skin and they can't open their eyes because it hurts! They do hope it's not acid. The leaders keep on talking but neither of the three can actually pay attention. It's no use anyway; they won't understand it besides the pain won't go away. All of them are afraid to touch their skin, afraid of what they might feel, until Blaine heard a scream of pain from David that his head shot up to his left, eyes trying to peer and see. "D-David?" He saw a blur vision of his friend's limp body on the ground.

His attempt to reach out and help his friend was useless when a hand touched his forehead, and he himself succumbs into unconsciousness. He heard a rough voice, in the deep part of his mind say, "Bana."

Weird how you start slow, and end up fast.


End file.
